Why Adoption? Why Now?

Here's the homestudy, or as we all now like to call it, lifestudy update:

A little over 3 weeks ago I met with the social worker for the first of three meetings. Overall it went well. I had to do a lot of talking. It really was just a chance for her to get to know me, my motivation for adopting, what support I have in place, what I have been doing to prepare for bringing a child into my home, etc. I was definitely exhausted afterward, but really happy to have it done. This first meeting with her felt like a big milestone because it was the first act that was beyond just filling out paperwork.

The next step is for us to meet at my apartment. The two big things she will be looking at is if it is safe (for example if fire alarms are working) and that I have enough space for her, as well as going over any other questions she may have for me. I am not sure yet when this will happen. I am anticipating in a week or two and hoping for sooner rather than later. The time between the second and third meetings will only need to be a few days, which I hope is true, and then the home study will be finished! That will be a great feeling!

I also want to take a moment talk about how I came to make this choice.
First, I'm excited to be a mom! Motherhood will definitely be the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I think the most rewarding too. There are so many things I can't wait to do with her like playing soccer with her, reading her stories, cooking dinner together, going on vacation, laughing and crying together. There are so many things in life that will be better sharing them with her. I know it.
The other part of my decision as to why I am doing this NOW rather than waiting is the fact that there are millions of orphaned children in horrific circumstances in this world. I want to give one of them a warm, happy, loving home. How amazing is it to have the chance to really change someone's life for the better?! Pain and suffering is rampant in this world, I see it almost daily working in a hospital, and I wish I had a solution to make it all go away. Each time I encounter pain, suffering, oppression, etc there is a very distinct gnawing feeling that reminds me this in not what we were made for, that this isn't how it is suppose to be. We are here for bigger and better things, to thrive and succeed, to love and to laugh. Unfortunately I don't I have a solution to the global issues that face this world like hunger, war, poverty, violence, and hatred. I don't even know how to begin to say how badly I wish I had the answers. However, even though I don't have those answers, what I can do is choose to not live my life indifferent to the suffering among us, and to do my part, whether it be big or small, to help alleviate it.

Some of you know that I have really struggled with my faith over the last few years while I tried to understand this broken world and God's plan for it. There's so much still I don't understand, that still makes me angry, in fact, but I have decided to keep choosing (meaning it is an ongoing daily choice) to cling to the hope that one day it will be redeemed for all humanity. Until that happens I will strive to make a positive difference. One way for me to do that is by offering my home, love, time, energy, resources, everything, to a child in need of it. In my way of thinking it is perfect that I get provide a home and family to a child AND I get to be a mom. What an amazing opportunity!!! I can't wait to meet my little girl, to hold her and to laugh with her!

Lastly, a few friends have expressed wanting to donate to help cover the cost of the adoption. International adoptions are very costly with agency fees, lawyer fees, court fees, filling fees, etc. If you would like to help I would be extremely grateful. I started a Gofundme account so that if you choose to contribute it can be tax deductible. Thanks in advanced!!

Life-Study

Finally! Getting this blog started has been on my to-do list for a month, but between work, adoption paper work and life, it has been hard to find the time when I am mentally alert to do it. I have never had a blog before so I don't really know how it will go, but I am excited about keeping everyone updated on the adoption progress and to share my experiences along the way.

My writing, these days, is almost exclusively in the format of medical notes. It is all short-hand and without regard for grammar rules nor appropriate punctuation. It also severely lacks creativity and it usually looks something like this:
"46 yo M with PMHx of CAD, HTN, DMII admitted from ED after HSMVC and sustained T11 burst fracture. Underwent T10-T12 PSIF..."
Anyway, what I am saying is that I will do my best not make my blog sound like a medical record, but I am not promising anything.

If there is anything true about adopting is that there really are mounds of paperwork. Mounds. I know at some point the paperwork will fizzle out and then all I will be left with is waiting, so when I get home from work and look at those mounds of paper I try to be grateful that at least for now I have something to do. It at least makes me feel like progress is being made and that things are getting done. But really, I am sick of paperwork.

Most of the paperwork right now is for my home study. I find that name very misleading, by the way, it should be called life-study. The actual approving of the physical home seems to be a very small part in the whole process--I have to get criminal background checks in every state I've lived in since the age of 18, give my employment history and financial statements, have medical evaluation, etc. The part taking the longest for me to complete is the autobiography: it is an 18 page document with question after question about your childhood and life as a whole. One question I recently found interesting to reflect on was "At what age did you consider yourself an adult? Did your parent's agree with you?" I claimed I was in college when it happened and was a gradual process as I became more mature in different areas of my life.

On Friday I am meeting for the first time with the social worker who is conducting my life-study. We will have a total of 3 meetings, so I am excited and nervous about getting this first one done. I feel very much like I am preparing for a job interview: I have my notes and research ready as well as some well selected sophisticated questions to ask. If there are any of you who have gone through this process already and have any tips or recommendations, I am ready to listen.

I will let you know how the first meeting goes. I hope you all have a wonderful week. If you are interested in learning more about the DRC a young student submitted this video which is pretty short but has a lot of information. Here is another one that is 25 min so if you have more time, I would recommend it too.